Dear CCI Friends,

I’ve obviously been silent for the past dozen days. Having just returned from Russia upbeat, I couldn’t seem to ‘get my bearings’ on return home.

I’ve written messages, some finished, some unfinished, but didn’t send any of them. I was concerned whether I’d misunderstood the situation. The horrendously dangerous time was developing but not like I had expected.

Russians and Ukrainians were trying to best one another, each for their own survival … meanwhile the survival of our earth was hanging in the balance. All of this with NATO in the background.

I’ve had 38 years of being in both countries on and off, working with and loving both people. I found my heart breaking from watching the daily news reports and photos about this war. I had to withdraw, meditate and find solace. I could see that sources on both sides were supplying plenty of information, not always good but this time I didn’t have the energy to get into the fray.

I’m still sitting in the crosscurrents with this grief. This is too personal and I know and feel too much. Usually I think I can make a difference in difficult situations. This time I know that nothing I can say or do will make any difference at all. Hopefully others will fill this space and bring solutions.

Countless times in these past days, I’ve turned to the world’s great music for solace. It seems to identify with and address the ache-in-the-soul when I have no solutions.

The music that most captures for me the horror existing between Russia and Ukraine today is Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto #2.  It doesn’t take sides, it simply reveals the pain, the penetrating angst, and also the potential for redemption. Russia’s amazing young prodigy, Alexander Malofeev was about sixteen when this recording took place. He is Moscow’s latest gift to the world of great music, having been on the piano since age five. Malofeev is now performing in top halls all across the world.

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Dear CCI Friends,

At last there is recognition with at least one U.S. opinion columnist that a huge mistake was made by pushing Ukraine for NATO membership on Russia’s border. There is much cover-up in the article below, but at least it explains the rationale for why Putin went to war over this NATO issue.

This piece doesn’t mention that if a NATO missile were to be fired from Kiev, it would be in Moscow in 10 minutes. Given Russia’s early warning system, they would have no time to respond. As a result, today Russia keeps loaded bombers in air 24 hours a day in case a nuclear weapon explodes over Russia. They would then counter-strike major U.S. cities where you and I live.

Although the following information isn’t completely explanatory, I’m relieved this MSNBC article is circulating.

Sharon Tennison
Center for Citizen Initiatives

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Dear CCI Readers,

A CCI responder recently wrote that Ambassador Jack Matlock was “trying to offer defense of Russia’s violation of the UN Charter.” Ever ready to clear up misunderstandings, he kindly responded back with the following:

“I am not defending anything. I am trying to explain the psycho-log of the other side, which I consider essential if we are to avoid a catastrophe. I assume you were equally outraged when the U.S. bombed Serbia and detached Kosovo from it, and even more so when the U.S. invaded Iraq, destroyed the entire government, arranged the assassination of its president, and stimulated a rise of ISIS. 

Unfortunately, the world has no means of enforcing international law—even if we could agree on what it is—if the most powerful nation in the world ignores it.”

Sharon Tennison
Center for Citizen Initiatives

PS:  I wish we all could have the expertise, wisdom and memory Jack continues to exhibit in his 90s!

Dear CCI Friends, Democrats, Republicans and Independents,

No doubt like many of you, I went to bed last night with a heavy, heavy heart. Despite our political persuasions or affiliations, once again we have experienced a major war and destruction on our planet … this one in Ukraine which was brought into our homes via TVs and our iPhones last night. It has been a grim reminder of the reality of our wars, even though it was aimed not to target population centers (the first in my remembrance).

I’ve not turned on the TV or looked for news this morning. I first wanted to record my feelings lest they get lost in the flurry of others’ opinions throughout the day. I apologize if my words leading up to this situation led you to take on opinions that otherwise you would not have considered. That’s the burden of anyone who has first-hand experience with leaders and far away populations like Russia. I told you the truth as I understood it and still stand by my interpretations but don’t expect you to agree.

The situation with Ukraine, Russia and the West was and is loaded with so much bad history and power projections over many generations, that there was no way a showdown could be healing. As somewhat of a Pacifist looking back, I can see how impossible a situation it was. What thoughts do I have now in retrospect?

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Dear CCI Friends and Colleagues,

I have been stunned and speechless over the past few days.
This has all felt like a bad nightmare. I’ve holed up in my fourth floor condo overlooking a lake surrounded by redwoods and greenery. Not a sound other than an occasional duckling below. I deeply needed this solitude to make sense of what’s going on since returning from Russia on February 16.

Emails have come and gone, the facts have registered, egregious hatred and empathy noted, the former responses as Americans, Russians and Europeans spewed out feelings to justify their rage and concern; only a couple of whom have had personal experience with Vladimir Putin.

Strangely I remember well the day in the early 1990s when I met a diminutive man in a slender brown suit, in a small brown office in Leningrad. I remember quiet sincerity as he examined my proposal to start a new CCI program never before contemplated by Russian bureaucrats. Other such official persons in the office were “getting rich” on their seats from bribes from such proposals.

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